


A Knife? No!

by septimaaliceohhey



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Gen, Knives, Pasta, Therapy, could be read as dinah/helena, harley stays in contact with her therapist friends, helena makes really good pasta, helena sleeps with a knife under her pillow, just a tiny bit though, pillows, vine references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 09:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23969413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/septimaaliceohhey/pseuds/septimaaliceohhey
Summary: Dinah tries to wake Helena up for an early morning mission and discovers she sleeps with a knife under her pillow.Is that healthy? Probably not.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41





	A Knife? No!

**Author's Note:**

> Written by request, based on a set of headcanons I did.

Dinah was watching Helena sleep. You know, like a creep. Well, not like a creep. She was there to wake her up for a mission. The digital clock blinked up at her, from 3:36 to 3:37. Gently, softly, Dinah placed a hand on Helena’s shoulder and shook her a little. 

Helena whipped up and— 

“Holy shit, is that a knife!?” It was pitch black in Helena’s room, except for where the light of the clock glinted off what was definitely a knife. 

“Who are you?” Helena yelled, reaching over to turn the light on. Click. “Oh. Oh! Fuck—I'm—uh...I’m sorry!” 

“Wait. You actually sleep with a knife under your pillow?” 

“I told you...um.... you said you were gonna wake me up, I said ‘just warning you, I keep a knife under my pillow.’”

“I thought you were kidding!” Dinah snickered a little. 

“What’s funny?” 

“Nothing’s funny about this.” Dinah said trying not to laugh. “There’s absolutely nothing remotely funny about going to wake your friend up and she literally sleeps with a knife under her pillow.” She said, knowing the irony of what she was saying. Funny how the best parts of her life were also the weirdest. 

“It’s not funny!” Helena said defensively, and then rolled her lips to keep from laughing. 

“It’s fine if you want to laugh, girl. You’re allowed to be a little weird at 4 am.” 

And laugh Helena did. 

\------- 

They were almost late for their mission. That, thankfully, wound up being the only hitch in their plan. It was a simple mission, something they could take care of in their sleep (which is good, because it was 4:30 in the morning and they were both close to falling asleep.) 

It was 1:00 in the afternoon the next day and Dinah, Renee, Cass, and Harley were seated around the kitchen table in Helena’s apartment, which had become the designated post-mission meeting spot. Helena was in the kitchen, making some Italian pasta dish. 

“And she pulled a knife on me!” Dinah was saying to her rapt audience. “And she yelled ‘Who are you?’ in her intimidating voice.” 

Helena walked over from the kitchen, brandishing a massive bowl of pasta. “I figured out it was you once I turned the light on!” She said. 

“So you actually pulled a fuckin’ knife on her?” Renee said, “I thought you were kidding about having a knife under your pillow!” 

“Why would you think I as kidding?” Helena said, setting down the pasta bowl. “Take as much as you want.” She pulled out her chair and sat down. 

“Because having a knife under your pillow is textbook crazy!” Renee said. 

“You know what’s crazy? How much you’re gonna like this pasta.” Helena deadpanned. She’d been trying out being funnier recently. 

Harley stopped stuffing her face with pasta to reach across the table and gently take Helena’s hand. “Hel, your pasta is always fucking amazing. However, sleeping with a knife under your pillow is a pretty clear sign of trust issues.” 

“It’s not about trust issues! It’s about...safety.” 

Harley went back to inhaling pasta and Dinah took over as therapist. 

“Hel, you shouldn’t be living in that kind of fear.” 

There was a moment of silence, and also chewing (Helena’s pasta was excellent). 

Cass finally piped up. “Harley, do you have a credit card? I found something cool online.” She angled her phone so Harley could see. 

“Try this one!” Harley said brightly, pulling a card out of her sequined fanny pack. 

“Thanks!” 

“Kids these days with their phones!” Harley said conspiratorially to the group. 

“Harley,” Dinah said, “You texted us for three hours last week.” 

“Nobody was responding! I was bored.” She pursed her lips. “Okaaayyy, maybe I was just a little drunk.” 

“We didn’t respond because it was two in the morning, Harley.” Dinah said. 

The rest of the meal was fairly uneventful. Well, uneventful by the Birds of Prey standards. Their meetings tended to get weird fast. 

Harley stopped Helena on the way out. 

“Ya know, I could refer you to a therapist. I think it might help you.” 

“I think I’m okay, but than--” 

“It’s too late! I’m already referring you.” Harley pressed a business card into Helena’s hand. “See you around!” She said and skipped out the door. 

“OK, then.” Helena said. “Bye!” 

\------- 

Helena did go to therapy. She called the number on the card from Harley, she made her appointment, and she went. She just got to sit in a comfy chair and...talk. Her therapist, recommended by Harley, had a yellow sweater, and listened. 

When Helena got back to her apartment, she found a box on her door. To Helena, from Cass (and Harley) the note scribbled on the top read in bright blue sharpie. She brought the box in and opened it up on her kitchen table. It was a pillowcase, embroidered with a picture of a knife and the words “a knife? No!” 

She shot off a quick text to Cass and Harley, thanking them for the pillowcase. The response was quick. A link to a video on YouTube titled “what do you have? A knife! Noooooo. --vine” and a text saying “Dinah is the woman yelling and the kid with the knife is u.” 

Helena laughed, and stuck her pillow in her new pillowcase. 

A few days later she moved the knife from under her pillow to on her nightstand, and a few weeks after that she put it in a drawer. 

The “A knife! NOOOO!” pillow turned out to be a real conversation piece.

**Author's Note:**

> link to headcanons here:
> 
> https://wordsoflittlewisdom.tumblr.com/post/616592639140265984/bop-sleep-habits-also-ive-been-reading-through 
> 
> Link to vine here:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Szhrn-nQe5E


End file.
